Good Grief

   How we respond to an emotional loss is what we call, grief. One morning last week I discovered that an entire blog post I had completed did not save. The only thing saved to drafts was this opening sentence. It makes no sense that it was not saved as Google automatically saves just about every 30 seconds. But whatever, wasn’t meant to be, I cried and now I am over it. How we respond to an emotional loss is what we call, grief.

   I haven’t had much time to write the last few weeks. It’s been somewhat of a whirlwind, much like a blur. At times I felt as if I was watching a movie that was my life, but not living it. I’ve been told it’s common to feel out of body during and after traumatic experiences. 
   How we respond to to an emotional loss is what we call, grief. Five weeks ago I was at home in Nice, CA ready to start an online course through FutureLearn called Exploring Play. The next day I was homeless. Sometimes it doesn’t take much. I haven’t even signed into the web class since I have my message board style introduction in the online course. This is what the email says for week five. “This week we’ll be exploring play in virtual worlds, and the ways in which play moves across and between online and offline worlds. The steps introduce different angles on this topic and we hope that there is something here to engage all learners. Previous experience of virtual worlds is certainly not a necessity!” I don’t know about you, but I am so ready to play. I made that crystal clear in my blog post, January 31, 2018, Let’s Dance

   How we respond to an emotional loss is what we call grief. I am happy to say, I did respond to our virtual world and asked for help. Twenty days ago I created a GoFundMe Campaign to ask a greater virtual community to help me and my family. We lost our home and belongings President’s Day Monday February 18, 2019. All of life survived and I celebrate that by living through my heart as best I can. The night of the fire, my heart hurt, it was terrifying. I felt shattered and angry at what seemed like the same overwhelming time. The shards of emotion unable to flow through felt sharp in my heart. A lot of built up anger brought up guilt and it hurt. I made my peace out loud and let it go while I wept in my partner’s arms in a neighbor’s home that night of the fire. The action of allowing emotion to overcome your senses and flow through you with the intent of moving on is what we call, catharsis. I had to make a lot of important decisions quickly and I am so grateful for the love in my heart that held it together best enough to make good choices. Having a supportive partner along with friends, family, and generosity of strangers makes my heart feel that much better. And things do and will keep getting better. Thank you for rooting for us. Thank you to all of life. Thank you for donating, thank you for sharing, I am grateful for connecting with you.

   Thank you to those holding space for us. Thank you for celebrating life! 

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